I personally have been in a relationship once with someone who I never thought of as controlling. Ultimately he wasn't but after our breakup, I've been noticing things about myself, about him, about the relationship.

I've always wondered why this went wrong, why this went right, what happened; really, just why? Most people think "it was me" close friends will tell you "it was him," I believe that it takes two to make things work, or not.

I've noticed though that I could have been the controlling one at times in that relationship, but when I truly analyze it, I was being what I thought was 'giving' and 'romantic' in a sense. The devoting of my time, the not-having-a-life-or-friends-other-than-him syndrome, being there all the time for him, etc. Now I noticed maybe I was too clingy? Too needy? Too, controlling?

Hmm...years later, in my current relationship...

Things are great! Or are they? I've been noticing signs of this disillusionment from my previous relationship filtering into this one at the start. Once I noticed, I quickly realized it and didn't let myself get absorbed in the moment. Snapping back into reality, I am totally me, just me.

Yeah deep down I wanted to be romantic (neurotic), all that good stuff...: ) But the cautious in me ruled that out to be bad, according to relationship prior. Is this a good thing I thought?

Well, my partner is the romantic one, and it seems my mojo has left, or at least, been analyzed to death...beaten to a pulp...and what's left are the pieces (I can relate to straight men now). (that was a joke) Anyway...back to my story...

Is it my current partner who is as I were in my past relationship? Is he what people might view as controlling? Or am I still trying to control the situation by being the "practical" one...?

I guess the main point is to really fall on your face when you are in love, that way you start off standing up, together.

I wrote this quick article hoping it made some sense during my lunch break at work after I was chatting with my partner, and I realized (as I do everyday) how wonderful he truly is no matter what.

Please post your comments on this via the link below marked, you guessed it, 'comments.'