When I first discovered the Bear community, the thing that attracted me was the inclusiveness. You were accepted for yourself and not some GQ or Esquire magazine icon.
What has happened to this idea? Is it just human nature to exclude anyone that doesn't fit a certain mold?
It tends to be frustrating when all you see is the perfect body. I would like to see us become a more united group of individuals.
To many see only sex and not camaraderie.

The brillient thing about the bear community is the sense of inclusiveness.i think you are completly right in what you say baltobear,people are to concernd today with trying to fit societys steryotyps to be therselvs.its nice to be part of a community where you dont have to pretend to be what your not.

The "Bear" community like every other community grows and changes; bear groups come and go to fill in a void in peoples' lives. If you fit the bill you are "accepted"; if you don't you are often shunned and or ignored. From my experiences the bear community, yes which initially started off as an inclusive group has become probably the most exclusive groups in my neighbourhood. Again, it depends on what you want out of a particular group. Many men view the bear group simply as a means for getting sex as often issues of self-esteem make meeting others difficult and when body types do not meet societal norms, things are further compounded.

but would you call those people that exclude others part of the bear community? see, as with any group or socity, parodoxis are abound, as peoples veiws on therself and others effect the community. Ifind it very ironic that the bear community arose due to the fact thay where not exepted by mainstreem gay socity now excludes people from thers.

Whether you play semantics deciding whether people are "members" or not of a particular group based upon their attitude and beliefs does not matter. The fact is attitudes exist and people need to learn how to navigate about. Just because a person may not be the most "inclusive" person that in itself does not exclude them from the group proper if that's what they identify themselves as. When the vast majority subscribe to similar views that may or may not be in light of initial intent does that make the group null and void? No, groups change to meet their needs. Best example I can think of was the creation of a group in Toronto called the GDIs: G D Independents. This was a group that started up as a result of every other "community" group not suiting individual needs for whatever reasons. So the GDIs started up. It quickly met it's demise because group memebers decided that they needed rules, codes and guidelines. Does this not go against the whole concept of being independent?

and there in lies the game. a communitys definiton is both its saving grace and its feet of clay. live by the sword die by the sword

and that's why i don't play the game. i've never been one to "fit in" anywhere. I've done the "bear" thing and the "leather" thing and the .... (LOL and no, the elipses does not allude to a 'drag" thing!!). I'm just me and if people can't handle that ... oh well. I'm not about to change for anyone except me.

that could be a good basis for a community LOL

LMAO

No Friggin' way!!

fair enough

ok i think we may have to agree to disagree on this subject doyourowndamndishes. the community depends on the people and the ones here and the other people that i have met that identify with bear community are such nice people so il put the those that exclude others in the minority and roll with it.

Biggles is right. you can't let a few spioled apples ruin your opinion of all the rest. Most people are inherantly nice. Comes from being a social animal.,

exactly

Of course, most people, on their own are wonderful people; get them into a group and dynamics can change. But a "community" is only as accepting as the members demonstrate. We all have had our own experiences; with me, when doors are closed because you do not meet the "community" standard then no, that is not an inclusive group. What those "standards" are vary from group to group; sometimes, it's those diffeneces which give rise to new groups (ex. some members displeased with one organization leave it to start up their own group). How "inclusive" is a group when members no longer feel welcome nor don't feel apart of nor simply don't like how the group is being "run" so they choose to leave. To leave a group that claims to be inclusive to start up another inclusive club to me is totally illogical. Then there's the whole debate on labelling the community to begin with. Again, call it harsh if you will. But it's not a commentary on the individual members that make up subculture within the larger gay commuity but my observations of group mentality.

I see your point. By its very definition a group is exclusive in some way. It would not be a group if there was not a common factor that held it together. That is not to say that the group can't add members that do not have that factor but then there has to be something else that takes its place.
The "Bear Community' can be very inclusive. It should and does include every type of body an style. From thin and hairless to regular grizzlys.
to be a "bear" might be different. It is more a look. To be a member of the "Bear Community" is more of an attitude. It emcompasses a great many men (and some wymen).
Unfortunatly it is human nature to not like someone that is different and doesn't fit your ideal. It is human to be able to overcome that and take into account things other than looks.
You can still have them in your community and make them welcome. You don't have to have sex with them.