Everyones definition of Bear is different, let's see if we can come to any sort of aggreement as to what it means.
Even it it is only bear bones.

(haha, I made a funny)

Large Fuzzy Woodland Creature.

My definition of a bear: bearded guy, hairy at times, friendly and out-going, and sometimes a little overweight (but not always). Guess it's more an attitude than a look.

Being a bear is more about attitude than appearance. A bear in my opinon is more layed back, more secure in his self image than most. Yes he is more hairy and more husky than the run of the mill. And yes he is more concerned with comfort than style. But it the attitude that is important. Having said that, I have to also say I have run into many a flannel wearing, bearded furry men who I would not call a bear, and may a three piece suit wearing hairless men who I would call a bear. Like I said it is mostly about attitude

Exactly. "Bear" is the attitude, not the look. "Bear" is the understanding of who you are and the acceptance of who you are, without the need of any outside validation or external paraphernalia. And anyone who calls himself a bear but tells you you can't be a bear without the look ain't no true bear.

GentleBen wrote:

Exactly. "Bear" is the attitude, not the look. "Bear" is the understanding of who you are and the acceptance of who you are, without the need of any outside validation or external paraphernalia. And anyone who calls himself a bear but tells you you can't be a bear without the look ain't no true bear.

dude i totaly agree with u i hate flannel im skinny as hell and i still cant grow a beard but u know what im a bear at heart just looking to find a cuddle buddy

I agree with the "bear is attitude" Doenn't hurt to have a furry face and belly!

My definition of a Bear?

I have to agree that the Attitude is a big factor, but at the same time there is somewhat of a "look". I think that look is just broad so it is hard to pinpoint. I have weighed 200 and I've weighed close to 300. I was a still considered part of the Bear Community at 200 and of course at 300. I think Bears just tend to have a broader range of attraction. And we like it that way.

Originally "bear" was more about lack of attitude. It was all about what the original Bear Magazine tag line said: Masculinity Without the Trappings.

That's it. Not about waist size. Not about bicep size. Just about being comfortable being a guy. Not feeling like you needed the latest designer sweater and cologne or a closet full of leather. Look at the earliest issues of Bear Magazine - the guys pictured were not gym bunny "muscle bears" nor were they big guys nor porn stars. They were just ordinary guys.

And it was about being friendly - not copping attitude with someone just because you didn't want to sleep with them or vice versa.

Since alot of the early bear guys had facial hair at a time when gay media was not portraying ordinary guys (especially those with hair) - most who identified as bear had facial hair and sometimes body hair - many were motorbike riders as well. Some of the guys had big guts. But not all. It didn't matter - size wasn't an issue. It was about a comfortable masculinity that wasn't forced.

Unfortunately, as "bear" became commoditized, it morphed several times and not necessarily for the better (IMO). First was the influx of Girth and Mirth folks - which made Bear synonymous with large guys.
Second big change was the death of the original owner of the Lone Star (Rick) and its sale to someone not of the bear community as well as the selling of Bear Magazine to a new owner (from Richard to Beardog). These changes affected the original intent of both the bar and the magazine which were the genesis of the early bear community. (Both the bar and magazine became more about the money-- less of a grassroots venture in service of bears. I'm not blaming the new owners - that is why they bought the businesses; to make money.)

Third major change was the spin off from bigmuscle.com for the boys without the abs: bigmusclebears.com. Leading to the "musclebear" type that started showing up at bear events (particularly Lazy Bear). And the divide grew between the larger, never been to a gym, bears and the pretty and muscular bears that tended to like circuit parties and the drugs that go with them (the early Bears from the later 1980s/ early 90s were a beer and pot crowd).

And the commercialization of everything bear continued(s) to explode. Now there seems to be 2 distinct "bear" communities that merely tolerate each other but sometimes border on hostility. That is why too many of the non-muscle bear types tend to want to define who is a bear. They want to exclude those who are not large and hairy. This is contrary to the original Bear community/movement. I have had a boyfriend and my current partner both who have been told they were not welcome at bear events/bear spaces because they weren't a "bear" (Both are hairy and have beards but are on the slimmer side.) Obviously, both of them like bears or they wouldn't be with me.

Well, the only constant is change. So this too will pass. It will run its course or morph, yet again, into something else.

For anyone wondering if my info on the early bear community is first hand or not: I was a dj at the original "bear" bar - the Lone Star in San Francisco (where it all started) for 8 years. I was hanging out at the Lone Star way before being a dj there as well.

djbearsf, just to clarify: what I meant by bears being defined by an attitude is the same as what you meant when you said "It was about a comfortable masculinity that wasn't forced." It is that attitude of unforced, comfortable masculinity that defines what being a bear is. Sorry if I wasn't clear about that in my previous post.

What I would like to add or rather re-inforce to the great stuff written by djbearsf, etc - is the sense of INCLUSIVITY that is an ideal in the original Bear Movement. Everyone wants to be included and that is where the richness of us Bears come from. Warmth, honesty, affectionate, accepting and accomidating.

Hi! First post LOL
I find that with the local bear gropus I am in, they always say that bears are males without attitude, as one of the previous post-ers has already stated. But one of the main reasons why I left the group I was in was an uderlying 'attitudes' of various decriptions. While the majority of bears I met are lovely guys, there are some bears who are their own worst enemies, and these include queens of various descriptions to the 'Ive been in the group longer than you so I am better than you and dont really want to know you. Some of the inner bear circles are som eo fthe hardest litttle clicks to break into and becoem known!!

i agree with that statement xxxxlbear!!

some bears have this attitude and i don't get it...

oh well..

;0)

emanoyhl wrote:

i agree with that statement xxxxlbear!! some bears have this attitude and i don't get it... oh well.. ;0)

the reason they have that attitude is insecurity plain and simple its like the bullies in high schoolthey bullied so they wouldnt be bullied but its that form of thinking which gets people in trouble "i'll do it to them b4 they can do it to me".

but thats just my opinion

even still - leave that at high school - and grow up

life's too short to have any attitude like that...